On the cusp of the next adventure

It took a few years but I decided to leave South Africa for one main reason. I didn’t like who I had become. Always anxious and angry and scared. Always fearful of having no future for myself and my girls. Feeling there was nothing further I could do to effect positive change. I felt I was building my life and business on sinking sand. I had lost faith in the political leadership and was despondent about the negative changes all over the country, particularly with respect to diminishing personal security and escalating violent crime. It meant giving up what I had, leaving people I loved behind and risking everything I knew or had built. It meant starting over and having faith in a place I risked to go. I believed I had greater opportunity for a future for both myself and my girls. Unfortunately I chose not to go alone…

I had been engaged (on and off) for a few years. Our engagement was tenuous because we had different views on migration, from the start. When we met I was in the ‘process’ of leaving, just did not know yet when or where, expecting clarity within 2 years. I had plans in place and exploring options in Europe, the UK and US. My scepticism that our relationship couldn’t last was dismissed, he said he’d always wanted to leave, but never could. Each time I uncovered an option, he said ‘no’ and our engagement called off. Then suggested Australia, saying he would come with if that’s where we went. I now know I was daft to reply: “who would want to go there, it’s the arse end of the world?!” Thankfully he challenged me, after all… I’d never been. The ten day trip I booked included interviews in 3 cities; Sydney, Melbourne and Perth.

From the moment I arrived in Sydney I was smitten. I’d found my new home. Australia was generous and I flew back with 7 job offers in 3 States on a 457 VISA, granting work rights. Within 2 months I had packed up my life: accepted a job in Sydney, sold my home and business, got married and arrived in Sydney to start anew.

What I remember most about that time was the pain. It was emotional pain, but I experienced it physically. An aching pain that I felt deep in the marrow of my bones. It took me by surprise. I anticipated the move being painful but I did not expect emotional pain manifest physically, how intense it would be, nor how long it would last…

Despite the pain I got to work within days of arriving and simply never stopped. I chose to be positive, chose opportunity, chose to just keep on going. I eventually chose to end that marriage which essentially never started, because one of us chose negativity, pity and blame. The lesson I learned all those years ago was about choice. People can experience the same thing, yet how it plays out is so vastly different because of one simple thing within our control: the choices we make about how we respond to whatever life brings.

Almost 9 years later I look back and see the progress time has brought me. I’m still the same person, but have another life. Married to my soul mate I stand at the cusp of my next adventure. I’m hopeful about my story being happy in the end.

 

5 thoughts on “On the cusp of the next adventure

  1. And I’m so glad you did. It’s been marvellous to share the journey with you. Keep up the blogging! I love you Cuz.

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  2. Life is full of surprises, we never know what’s round the corner but you have ALWAYS been open to what’s next, and faced it all with optimism & courage. I admire that so much.
    Can’t wait to follow your adventures & hope we get to meet Paul soon. Xxx

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  3. It’s amazing how emotions can manifest itself and try to tell our mind that something is up. However, we are taught to toughen up and ignore it. While on my motorcycle journey, it became very painful to continue riding. So I headed home, I could never get a straight answer as to what is wrong with my hands. A friend I met through the adventure community, once told me that it is because I was still grieving and wasn’t ready to let go yet. I believe it was due to both emotional and physical. The emotion amplify it. I still struggle with the pain in my hands but it is very minor compare to what I felt on the trip.

    Congratulation on your new adventure and remember life is precious and enjoy every minutes of it.

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